Sometimes, we are afforded the opportunity to just be & enjoy a few moments with our family & perhaps even share a part of our history with our kids – part of what makes us who we are. Not nearly often enough for our liking, but sometimes, it comes in the form of a trip “home” – “home” because it’s never quite the same, at least not for us. But it is still part of who we are and how we came to be that person.

Last weekend offered such a time, and we grabbed on with both hands and no matter how hard the kids tried, we wouldn’t let go…at least not for a while. And when all was said and done, they conceded, it was a good time. “It” being the hour plus we spent driving around the greater Pearl City area, where Chris grew up and still has treasured memories of his younger years. Since his parents moved to Iowa nearly 8 years ago, we don’t make it back very often, but his aunt and uncle were celebrating 50 years of marriage, so we made the trek. 50 years. That’s a lot to wrap my mind around. So much has happened in the 16 we’ve been married, I can’t hardly imagine 50. And they still live, laugh & love, just the way they “always” have, at least as long as I’ve known them. I especially love the way they laugh. Aunt Faline in her quiet snicker, with a smile from ear to ear, usually shaking her head at Uncle Gene, who still giggles like a little boy. I know this because he sounds an awful lot like our Tom. Funny, they bear a striking resemblance to one another as well.

We had plans to head to a cousin’s after the celebration for a wonderfully relaxing escape from reality. Truly, less than 24 hours, but such a restoration of the soul comes when there is belly laughter and the enjoyment of watching kids play and play and play and did I mention laugh? Oh those boys, they had us in stitches.

On the way to the cousins, though, we diverted from the path & headed out for an adventure touring Pearl City and all its wonders. Don’t laugh, there’s a lot of history wrapped up in that little area. Why, we saw some incredibly huge chicken farms, quite expansive dairy operations, and even happened upon the Blackhawk Monument, which for a history buff like our oldest, is pretty cool stuff. But the stop that got them all, even the littlest two, was that of Babb’s Grove Cemetary. You read that right: the cemetary.

I spent all the years of my youth with a cemetary bordering our farm, so it was a treat to run & play hide & seek with my brother among the headstones. We were always very respectful, as much as kids could be anyway. We always stayed close to the stones & never ran carelessly in “the open spaces”. It didn’t happen often, but it was a treat when we were allowed to go & look around. At that point in our lives, who knew people actually lived in the 1800s? Funny the things I remember. So, it never strikes me as odd that the kids would enjoy a walk through a cemetary, especially if they knew they had family there, but apparently, this is an oddity. Imagine, our family “odd” in any way…

So we happened upon Babb’s Grove while Chris was telling of how he spent many years hunting in the area when he all but stopped in the middle of the road. (It’s a one-lane country road, not a big deal.) I sensed he was putting two and two together, so to speak, and waited patiently. We turned into this small, unmarked cemetary as he said, “I think I have ancestors in here.”

He’s been doing some family tree research in his “free time” and remembered reading about Babb’s Grove cemetary. He just wanted to see if he could find any Baumgartners and assured us, “I won’t be long.” After about 10 minutes, I texted him, “Do you mind if the boys join you?” and the adventure took on new meaning. The boys had a mission; and they were successful! Tom found the Baumgartner line & Rob, whose eyesight is apparently much more keen than any of ours, found their great, great, great, great grandfather’s gravesite, one John Baumgartner. There were two others, whose connection we haven’t quite determined yet, but we will, in time. Perhaps that’s another adventure for another day.

Wow! I guess we are a little behind in getting a post on what’s going on in the Janssen household these days.  We need to try and be a little more diligent.  I’ll ATTEMPT to hit the highlights since our last post, and hopefully we can fill in the holes of what I miss.

I think the big news of the year is in the spring Ben did get an official diagnosis of Autism.  He is on the spectrum although many of the professionals agree he is on the higher functioning end.  That being said it is still amazing the small little victories we enjoy.  Small things like Ben telling us he had a tummy ache last night and then confirming that by getting sick an hour later after we got home.  I strongly believe that this whole experience will teach us to always notice and celebrate the little things.  With this diagnosis, he has started therapy twice a week in Peoria at Easter Seals.  This has been quite a change in our schedule as Peoria is over an hour away and he goes for 3 hours a day 2 days a week.  It has been an adjustment, especially with summer ball schedules mixed in, but we do believe we are seeing good progress with the process.

Speaking of summer ball, the “big 3” have been busily enjoying summer ball this summer.  All three teams started the season strong with multiple wins and it has been an exciting summer.  Robert is finishing up his last summer of summer ball and has decided to go out with a bang.  He has had the best season he has had in quite some time.  He is fielding much better and is hitting the ball well.  He has made some new friends in having guys from Abingdon and Bushnell on their team this summer and he has really enjoyed it.  Thomas’s team has had a good summer as well.  They’ve won some and lost some, but in his usual manner, Tom has continued to ALWAYS be upbeat and hustling!  Jac had a different experience this summer in that she and a classmate were the only two on a team from Bushnell.  There were more from her class involved in summer ball, but they combined girls from Avon and Bushnell and then split them on two teams.  She found a strong love of catching, and of course Dad will try and foster that love.  With a little coaching she has started to really come around as an up and coming catcher.  Ben and Ali spent a lot of time at the ball fields this summer and have their favorite playgrounds, but also due to the extreme heat this summer have spent some evenings at home either with one of the big 3 or Mom or Dad.

Robert managed to have a few other experiences this summer in that he was involved in the Senior Rascals performance of Dear Edwina.  He’s moved into the Senior group now.  He tried telling us he had a very small part with only a few lines.  He’s old enough that we would drop him off for practices and didn’t see the play until performance, and found out he was not completely honest.  He didn’t have an overabundance of lines, but certainly had times when he stole the show with his lines but especially his non-verbal communication.  Great performance.  Rob spent a week with his Grandfather at Lincoln’s New Salem park near Springfield where he attended a day camp essentially training him to be an “interpreter” at the site teaching people about the site and the history. He really enjoyed it and the staff was very complimentary and was really advocating for him to return!  This was also the summer of work for Robert in that he got his first taste of real employment.  Rob decided he wanted to sign up for detasseling this summer and it’s meant some early mornings with hot working conditions, but he has enjoyed the paychecks.

Thomas and Jaclyn have also stepped up and been helping out bunches at home with the busy schedules.  Thomas enjoyed a week of Bible camp last week at Faith Bible Camp, and this week both he and Jaclyn are spending their time at Lincoln’s New Salem park.  We are so looking forward to the reports of their experiences this week.  Ben continues to make progress and work on things both at Easter Seals and at home.  In the fall he will be attending Pre-school at least part days to try and make that transition as well.  Ali continues to keep us all smiling with her love and care for all of her siblings, but with a special bond with Ben.  We can see already that she, Rob, Tom and Jac will all play a critical role in Ben’s future and they are all so caring and helpful in that regard.

Jody continues her work as Church Secretary and the challenges that it brings.  Chris continues his work as Junior/Senior High Principal at Spoon River Valley and the challenges that the job and the schedule bring.  We are all so thankful for the opportunities and blessings that God has provided.  Jody has been struggling with a hip injury sustained from a fall on the ice last winter.  Jody and Chris are both scheduled to run in the Macomb to Peoria run on July 21st to benefit St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.  Jody’s training has been disrupted by the injury and her running will probably be adjusted on Saturday, but so far the recovery is going well.

We have such busy schedules that we don’t often take the time to personally get in touch with our friends and family that mean so much to us, however, we are so blessed for each and every one of you.  A short electronic note either here or on Facebook always means so much!

After several failed attempts at getting this posted on our blog, here it finally is!!  I am sooooooooooooooo not the tech person in our family.  Bet you couldn’t have guessed!  Without further delay, the 2011 Janssen Family Review:

It seems we think the same thing each year, “How can it possibly be time for this already?”  But alas, here we are, once again experiencing the truth of the matter that time does in fact fly when you’re having fun!

Adventures come in so many different forms, we just never know where we’re going to find our next one.  Our greatest adventure of the year has been brought to us by that beautiful spirited bundle of energy & joy we all know as Ben; our Benton Alfred; our own little Alpha-Ben.

Our year began with concerns of little things that we always just thought made Ben, well, Ben.  Things that were not necessarily wrong, but just different from what we had experienced with the older kids.  Through many ups and downs and more conversations than we can count with professionals who have become almost as much family as any others, we still don’t have an official diagnosis, but we suspect he is on the Autism spectrum.  This has lead us to speech therapy on a regular basis during the school year and while he still has bad days, there are so many more good days to balance it all out and for that, we are thankful beyond measure.  As Rob pointed out one night last summer, “We all have bad days sometimes.”  He’s so right.

Speaking of Rob, he’s another one of our great adventures!  We often joke he is our experimental model because who really knows what they’re doing the first time around anyway?  Oh how many times I’ve felt that way as we find ourselves split between the toddlers years with Ali and the teen years with Rob.  Perhaps these are the years which caused cavemen to coin the term “man-cub”; not yet a man, but far beyond the years of the cub.  All joking aside, Rob is one of the most genuine people I know and we are so blessed to be his family.  He is a phenomenal big brother (especially to the youngest two) and quite the history buff.  Highlights of his year include getting contacts; working for Mrs. Peterson & our wonderful neighbor, Jim; and all the fun that comes with JH youth group at Checkrow.  He’s also quite the marketing mastermind when I let him loose to come up with different ideas for my growing photography business, PhotosbyJo, landing me three junior high dances, high school homecoming & prom yet to come, not to mention a few family shoots which have come out of those.  This has been such a fun time for both of us, especially for me as I watch him grow and develop an interest in something that has been a passion for me for so many years.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to do something I love with people I love and create precious keepsakes for those who come to me.  There will come a time these captured moments are all we have to hold in our hands of those we hold so dear in our hearts.  I don’t take this responsibility lightly & absolutely love seeing these precious moments unfold in the pictures I’m blessed to create.

While I’ve been snapping the shutter for decades, the business side of this adventure got its start in the summer of 2010 when I was trying to figure out a way to help Chris raise funds for the St. Jude run and I have been blessed that it has grown from there.  You can see some of my work on my facebook profile:  PhotosbyJo.

St. Jude is such a wonderful organization that a portion of my bottom line goes to support their amazing efforts.  So touched by all the emotion of last year’s run, Chris & I made a decision that we’d run for St. Jude together in 2011.  And that day, we decided we’d run together until we couldn’t run any more.  There is just no way to describe the emotional overload of doing something like this.  I had never run a day in my life before hitting the pavement to train for last summer.  Oh, I liked to think that I tried in college, but those were never successful attempts, unless of course, you count run a block, walk 5 success.  However, I’ve found that something happens when it becomes personal; when there’s a person you know & love, no matter how long it’s been since you spent time with them; when you realize nothing will stop you from running to help find a cure for that person, and every person like her, and heaven forbid, your own children should they ever be effected by this horrible monstrosity called cancer or other inconveniences such as autism.  I say this because Autism Speaks allows us to raise funds for autism research as we participate in different runs as well.

Ironically, when you do something like this, you find yourself reflecting.  A lot.  I found myself wondering how it was even possible that I ran 7 miles in one day when a few short months before, running even a minute was a stretch.  Chris was the ultimate cheerleader telling me he had no doubt I could do this & not to worry, I wouldn’t even feel it on run day.  He was so right.  It was just an emotional high outdone only by our wedding day and the birthdays of each of our children.  I also found myself thinking I just couldn’t stop.  There are too many things in life that provide stress, I wanted – no I NEEDED to keep running, not only for my health & to help St. Jude & Autism Speaks, but also for my own sanity.  That road has taken a beating from my feet and relieved my frustrations more times than I can count.  I choose to love my life, no matter what the adventure of the hour may be, and running helps me to keep that focus.

Fortunately, my running buddy (also a St. Jude first-timer in 2011) found herself thinking the same thing about not stopping and we have continued to hit the pavement together throughout the fall.  We enjoyed the first annual Ghouls & Goblins run in October & we’re gearing up for Get Lit! through the Festival of Lights in East Peoria on New Year’s Eve WITH OUR HUSBANDS.  So very excited about this!

And now, my cousin has decided to join us for the 2012 St. Jude Run, too!  It’s quickly become a family event.  Even our kids got involved this year by helping to organize a Kids Helping Kids event one day last summer which brought in more than $500 for St. Jude!  Rob played his trumpet uptown in front of Main Street Cafe, then took donations at the pump at Caseys.  Tom & Jac corralled their Girl Scout & Cub Scout groups to help with a car wash & bake sale.  What a fabulous day for our little town to come together!!!  Thank you to so many of you we saw that day!

In the midst of our Ben-venture early in the year, we realized Ali wasn’t talking. At all.  Not even trying.  With a speech therapist at our disposal thanks to Ben, we quickly acted on her advice and Ali began therapy with another specialist and we now spend one-two mornings a week on speech for Ben & Ali  and one morning in a preK group for Ben – by Wednesday noon, mom is therapied out.  It is so worth it, though, as there are often days I remind myself not to stifle her banter, we wanted her to talk.  We have reached the pinnacle of why I wanted to name her Aliyah Lillian – the joy in hearing her little two-year-old voice say, “My name is Ayeeya Yiyyian Janssen.”  Okay, the truth of the matter is, she is named after my brother and Chris’ grandmother, but I still LOVE to hear her say those words, especially when she giggles with me after she’s done…another grand adventure, that little Ali-bean is!

In addition to Scouts, Tom & Jac both still enjoy AWANA kids club at church and joining Rob on stage at the Ellisville Opera House with the Spoon River Rascals.  Tom was the mayor of munchkin land, Jac was a munchkin, and Rob headlined as The Cowardly Lion in their production of The Wizard of Oz this fall.  What a joy it is to watch our kids literally come alive on stage.  It’s almost sad to realize this is the end of an era for the Janssen trio as Rob will be advancing to the Senior Rascals this summer while Tom & Jac stay in the younger group.  It’s enough to choke a mom up.

All three kicked off the Christmas season with a production of Chris-Myth Busters at church.  Rob opened the show with Christmastime is Here Again, while Tom & Jac were leads in the show which highlighted truths of God’s Word, despite not knowing many of the specific facts of that first Christmas so long ago.  I found it humbling to lead the charge of this group of Checkrowite kids who only practiced together twice before the performance.  It was a definite leap of faith, but God is faithful and nothing is impossible through Him.  Those kids rocked it!!  We may not know all the facts of the night of that babe’s birth so many years ago, but the truth is God sent him for us.  Great job, kiddos!

That pretty much wraps up the year in a nutshell for the Janssen family.  Sure we still have the daily grind of work & running kids here & there.  Chris is still the JH/HS principal at Spoon River Valley Schools in London Mills; still the chairman of Avon Businessman’s Association (read Avon Fat Steer Show); and still loving the thrill of being a volunteer fireman.  I’m still working part-time at Checkrow; teaching Caterpillar Club (preK) there for Ben & his friends once a week; still Cubmaster for the local Cub Scouts; still Troop Leader for Jaclyn’s Girl Scouts group; and still juggling the adventures of keeping a family of seven on task…and loving every moment of it!

Alpha-Ben

Yogi & BooBoo all snuggled up

BULLSEYE! Tom at Cub Scout Camp 8.2.11

Jac as a fashion model for Halloween

so blessed – most handsome date AGAIN! 🙂

Merry Christmas, everyone!

As I peruse through the “most recents” here on Facebook, I often relate to the musings of my friends as they share snipits of their days.  Lots of smiles & some laughter, too; feeling like in some small way we’ve reconnected or stayed in touch.  It’s amazing as we get older & the miles multiply between our homes just how much those few seconds can boost my spirits.  And then there are times, that I realize what a varied group we are and sometimes, we just see things differently.  I’ve decided this is pretty much just due to life circumstances as many of the comments that get to me most are very similar to what I may have thougth as recent as a few years ago.  Tonight’s gander through status updates has lead me to to some reflecting.  Or perhaps it’s because we’ve enjoyed an amazing couple of days with so many from our community, relishing the simple things, soaking up the moments focusing on our kids.  Perhaps it’s a little of both.

Our son has autism.  He seems to be fairly highly functional, but there are still struggles.  In a week of hustle & bustle like this one, I usually just hope to survive without a major meltdown for Ben (or me) but sometimes, that is even too much to hope for.  So far, this week has not been one of those weeks.

Wednesday night was Scrambles Night.  The kids are divided by gender & age & get to chase & attempt to catch chickens or pigs depending on their ages.  I got to watch my three middle children participate; two of them with HUGE grins.  One even won their heat.  The third did not so much enjoy it, but he tolerated it.  That’s our Ben.  He found comfort being by mom & not touching the chicken.  Two days earlier, we couldn’t even get him to go near our chicken pen, much less go IN it, so just getting him inside the gate was a major milestone.  I’m the photographer for the scrambles, so I didn’t get any pictures of Ben & the chickens, not that he got close enough for that anyway, but it really warmed my heart when one of the organizers reached for my camera & said, “Here, let me do that.” and took a picture of me & my boy.  He didn’t have to do that, but he did.  I don’t have a lot of pictures of me & my kids because I’m usually the one taking them.  And it wasn’t a great picture because Ben wasn’t looking at the camera, but that’s Ben.  Eye contact is hard for him; especially with a stranger, in a pen with chickens, and a lot of people and loud noises.  Noise is also hard for Ben.  But it’s a picture of me & my boy & I love it.  Thank you, Frank.  I’m sure you didn’t think twice about it, but you have no idea what that picture means to me. 

Thursday night was the Pedal Tractor Rodeo.  Again, kids are divided by gender & age to maneuver through a course of cones on a pedal tractor.  Sounds simple & fun, right?  For most kids, yes.  For Ben, fun to sit on the tractor, but not so simple to coordinate the legs to work the feet to move the pedal, not to mention the eye/hand coordination of steering.  And oh yea, the speakers – more loud noise.  It helped it was his dad’s voice, but it was still quite loud for his little hypersensitive ears.  He was the last one in his heat & honestly, I never thought he’d do it.  But he climbed on & sat there.  And sat there.  And sat there.  Instead of his turn being up, the helper really helped – as in pushed him through the course; the entire course.  They were about 1/2 done when I noticed the deafening silence as the stands had grown quiet.  My mommy heart began to pound & my mind raced wondering “What are they thinking?”  I know it doesn’t matter, or rather shouldn’t matter what others think, but let’s face it, as moms, we want our children to be accepted.  And that’s when I heard it.  One small voice.  (Remember the loud noises thing?)  One voice I recognized from way at the other end of the bleachers saying, “Goooooooooo Beeeeeeeeeennnnnnn!”  And the helper kept helping all the way to the finish line.  And everyone clapped & said “Yay Ben”.  It was a pedal tractor rodeo and his time put him dead last, but for a moment, I think I almost knew what the parent of an Olympic gold medalist feels like.  Not because my son won the gold, but because this amazing community we live in treated him like he had.  And why?  Because he got on the tractor & held on while someone pushed.  Thank you, Jay for being my son’s horsepower.  And thank you, dear friends, for encouraging my son through your cheers & clapping. 

Friday afternoon was the annual Afternoon of Fun for Kids.  It really is a remarkable day for the kids – no high tech video games, just a bunch of kids running races.  Boring?  NO WAY!  Our kids look forward to it all year long & this year, Ben was old enough to participate!  But would he?  I thought not.  Once again, this little guy surprised me!  And the compassion of the leaders made me so thankful to be living here in this snapshot of America.  I made a mistake & took him down a heat early for one of the races so we stood off to the side to wait our turn.  The leader gave us a gunny sack so Ben could “get used to the feel of it.”  I hadn’t even thought of it, but what a great idea.  He wasn’t all that sure of it at first but b/c he had that extra few minutes, he was all about the jumping in a sack.  Mind you, he didn’t get but a few feet from the starting line, but he was there & he was participating just like all the other 3 year olds.  And that did my heart good.  Thank you, Shelly, for thinking of my boy, when even I was not.

And Friday night, while gone with our oldest on a quick trip to convenient care (an entirely different story) I received a picture via my phone.  Can you imagine my surprise when I saw it was Ben on a stick horse prepping for the stick horse race during the horse show?  Add to this scenario that Chris was ther with our four younger children, without me.  He is an amazing dad, but Ben is sometimes a handfull.  Thank you, Chris, for never backing down & never saying anything even remotely close to “deal with him” or “he’s yours” or anything else that would indicate I was on my own with whatever situation we faced.  You are my rock.  I am so blessed to walk this journey with you.  And thank you, Shelly for helping Chris while I wasn’t there.

All the while through these milestone moments for our Ben, his siblings (ages 13, 9, 9 & 2) were all cheering him along; encouraging him as only a sibling can.  And again, my mommy heart melts.

It’s moments like these that I am so thankful that God has put us here and blessed us with these amazing children.  Ben has good days and he has not so good days.  Our 13 year old said to me tonight, “You know, Mom.  Everyone has a bad day sometimes.”  He is so right.  Why should a bad day for Ben feel like such a letdown & failure to me as a mom (Where have I gone wrong?  Why can’t I do more for him / be better for him?  Aren’t I supposed to be his best advocate?  How can I do that when we can’t get through the day without major issues?)  Why do I obsess over these “bad days” when we all have our days?   Thank you, Rob, for your ever-so-enlightening observation.  Kinda makes up for that trip to convenient care. 😉

So here’s what I’m thinking tonight,  when you’re out & about & you get frustrated b/c someone else’s child is screaming, please try to remember: not every screaming child is a brat or needs to be “disciplined” & not every parent who calmly sits by while said child screams is a slacker.  Perhaps the child has special needs.  Perhaps one or both of them has had a really tough day & this dinner out, allbeit at McDonald’s, is the one bright spot & that spot just got a little dimmer.  Perhaps this is the only few moments they’ll have together all day & it’s still not going well.  Perhaps we could all benefit from a deep breath & a friendly smile…